John Kasich - the dad who's really into golf; will put your report card on the fridge
Ted Cruz - the weird neighbor that shows up unannounced and wants to talk about God and his vegetable garden
Donald Trump - the cousin who has ruined many a family dinner with his uncomfortable comments; probably dealt with alcoholism and definitely ruined at least three Christmas mornings; gives everyone his business card, even when they don't ask about his business
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Bernie Sanders - the grandpa who invites you on his annual fishing trip; knows you don't really want to go, but wants you to know he's thinking of you; sends greeting cards on every holiday (including Arbor Day, Flag Day, Canadian holidays, etc.)
Hillary Clinton - the aunt you see once or twice a year; she's not your favorite but she gave you $20 one time for no reason
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